Alison

As I have aged and journeyed through some recent illnesses I have spent a good deal of time thinking about all those people throughout my life that has helped me personally and or helped me with my career.  I was watching and listening to Andre Rieu who is a well known conductor. Reiue travels throughout the world with his orchatrusa, singers, and dancers, bringing a blend of classical, operatic and popular music to anyone who is interested in enjoying an incredible musical event.

The music I was listening to seemed to connect people in the adudence with all the good things in life.  At least that’s how I felt. The music made me want to dance which is not an easy thing for me to do. It caused me to want to read a good book, to go for a walk or stroll through the old corridors at Stanford university or to sit outside under a cover at my favorite café watching and listening to the rain, while enjoying a drink or starting up conversations with people I never met before. The music I was listening to seem to be an expression of hope and that there is still a chance in life to salvage something good from the past, to save something good from the present and to  still believe that we might have a dream about the future that can come true. Most of all this particular performance caused me to think of my wonderful wife, friend and teacher for many years.  My wife Alison is an outstanding Psycho-Therapist, wife, mother, friend and as I said teacher.  Alison has witnessed and experienced things most of us can only experience through reading books or possibly viewing documentaries or listening to the masters from the field of Psychotherapy and Psychology as they tell their professional and personal stories. Alison’s journey in this life can be described much like the music of Rieu, To know Alison is to experience all the good things in life. I love the word soul and realize for many people it has different meanings. When I think of Alison, I think of the word soul and I think of the words beautiful life and it is clear to me she has a beautiful life that will enrich a friend or person who may have professional contact with her. Alison is obviously special to me but she sees the music in other peoples lives. She sees and points out the good in others. Alison has a huge heart but she never fails to value the heart God had given to all of His children.

Proverbs 12:25

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad. Proverbs 12:25. Proverbs is full of statements that are healing mental, spiritually and physically. It is incredible given the teaching I have found in Proverbs. I have been studying the Bible at the college level what ever that means sense 1973 starting in Community College, San Jose Bible College and a tiny bit of studying at Simpson College in S.F. I have also been studying Counseling Psychology sense 1978. I have been studying Proverbs for over two years trying to understand Biblical principles and their relationship to Psychology and human behavior especially psychopathology or abnormal psychology. A clear truth is that anyone who wants to help those in need that God brings into our lives would certainly benefit from training but given my understanding of Proverbs anyone should be able to help if one understands the context, prays and ask God for the opportunity to help. A good word or support will make a difference. A good word to our kids, wife, husband or friends can truly make a difference. I have seen this my entire adult life. It does not take much, a willing heart and trust. We are in a place now where caring for each other is more important than ever before. Corky

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Alison and Our Time

Today is my Anniversary. It is odd but I don’t feel any different today than I felt yesterday. I guess the simple truth is that everyday with Alison is a special day. I remember everything about the first day I met her and the first time I asked her to spend time with me having lunch and I certainly remember where and how I told her I loved her for the first time. I remember every good and decent thing she has said and done for me and others. I remember the hardships and those days full of trouble and even though some horribly dark nights Alison never left me alone. I remember more than once waking up in the hospital in the middle of the night and looking over next to me and Alison would be sitting across from me quietly, waiting until I was safe. I remember all the traveling we did together all over the states and the beauty and wonder we experienced together in the high desert and the beauty of the red rock formations in Sedona. I have never known a person to give as freely of herself, friends, family and strangers than Alison. I will never forget the morning she carried our new born son into our house for the first time. Everyday seems to hold a special blessing from God. It has been a true adventure living with and loving Alison. I have to say if something were to happen to me, I can say I know what it is and means to truly love and be loved by one’s spouse.

God’s Plan To Be with Us

A great reminder. I am going to ask Aidan to read this sense his question this morning was ”when did God decide to send Jesus to save us.” I love where in Rev. 21 where John says ”and God dwells among his people. I wonderful thought. Corky

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Matthew 1:22: All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”—which means “God with us.”

The coming of Jesus to this earth was no accident, no random act of coincidence or chance. Nor was it God’s last minute change of plans because his earlier plans had not worked. God was putting into action His plan that he had told to the prophet Isaiah hundreds of years earlier. But even that was not the beginning of his plan to send Jesus. Right after Adam and Eve decided that they were better at knowing what was best for them than God, and chose to disobey his one rule, sin entered the world and God already had a plan. And that plan was Jesus. That Jesus…

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Beauty In The Desert Dress

She was a beauty compared to the rest,

wearing an outfit called the Desert Dress.

Her outfit was the Desert Dress.

The color was cream and it reached the sand.

Soft to the touch, smooth to the hand.

It wasn’t the dress that held my stare,

or the colored hills or the Sun’s bright glare.

I watched her move on to the path,

away from me and far from the grass.

Watching her move every move she made

telling my heart it had to behave.

Her eyes, her skin and jet black hair,

The dress was magic and hers to wear.

The clouds came quickly and darken the sky

letting forth rain like tears from the eyes.

It was time to leave and head for our home.

The memories were mine, mine all alone.

Looking over my shoulder taking a breath

remembering beauty and the Desert Dress.

Living Forever

As a Christian I believe in the death burial and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. I believe that I will be raised after my death and will live eternally with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I have never really concerned myself with the details of the particulars regarding the after life promised in scripture but since I have been getting older I have been giving it some thought. I believe in this promise intellectually and emotionally that was made by my Savior some 2000 years ago. I have often wondered what immortality means. This morning my little boy was singing an old Joni Mitchell song called Carey. It’s a beautiful song describing a carefree lifestyle and the joy of being with friends and enjoying the magic of the moment. I always love that song and to hear him singing it caused me to add a little more insight to my view of immortality. Our children are so much of who we are that is what we believe, teach them, tell them, how we treat them and how we act in front of them. They learn to be what we give to them as parents whether it is a song or moment of anger. I believe there is an appointed time I will be raised after my death yet I also believe there is a significant part of me that will live on in my son. Listening to my son sing one of my favorite songs reminds me once again of the incredible responsibility we have as parents. Every now and then about 3 in the morning my son will make his way through the hallway and through the living room to our bedroom. I will feel him crawling up between me and his mom and in the quite of the early morning I am able to touch and see the reality of our Lord’s promise. May God give all of us as parents the courage to do what is right for our children.  Corky

”May God bless you and keep you always

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung

May you stay forever young

Forever young, forever young

May you stay forever young.” Bob Dylan

Never Mine Always Yours

I no longer feel the wind

or see the color of the sky

I’m not yet dead with no plans to die

Life a gift, all I received and more

Working, playing, keeping score

The words aren’t there nor the beauty of your stare

Something I missed, soft hands now a kiss

Unable to move LOW in the sand

Accused of being half a man

Its known by all, I can’t stand

You brought Passion to the ledge

keeping your pledge, keeping your secret pledge,

No longer the beauty of your beautiful stare

An oath you couldn’t or should not share

I surrendered my heart to you that night

but you, you  held your feelings in sight.

The secret was never spoken out loud

Hidden so deep, lost in the clouds

Always yours never mine

I never knew there was never a sign

A LITTLE LIFE

A LITTLE LIFE

 

The light has left the room.
Must survive the gloom

He says he’s a dancer

A singer a prancer
Drinks my soda and eats my food.

He taps  and will shuffle left to right
Leaving the room with the light
dancing away into the night

Strangers paid to come right in
To help me and do what they can
Fear controls my young heart
God, I’m still afraid of the dark.

There are others living in this place
The rooms were small with little space
I couldn’t think and I couldn’t feel
All the time hoping to heal

The first 6 months I didn’t heal
Always asking if this is real
My hands don’t work, my arms are weak
I lost weight, and desire to eat
I could not sit I couldn’t stand
Referred to as a half a man

Disappointment tore at me

Nothing left for me to be

Stole my dreams, took my soul

Time to leave, time to go

How to escape this lasting pain

Leave this life, go insane

Bow to Jesus, hold the cross

Find the love, I have lost.

Find the beauty in her eyes

One more time before I die

Just one more time before I die.

Corky Riley

 

 

 

LIFE’S COURSE

LIFE’S COURSE

I can’t wait to see whats next for me.

Will the next shoe drop as foretold?

Will life start to slow even more as I grow?

Is the gray just a warning I’m old?

Does it matter to you  when you search for the blue

that once decorated my eyes?

Are the lines in my face so far out of place,

my photos don’t match them at all?

You never held back the touch of your hand

or  your fingers that ran though my hair.

Your eyes never lied when they looked deep inside

knowing all I loved and the care.

Yes the kid came in play toward the end of the day.

The music has not been this loud.

I wrote to a friend, to a famous friend.

She answer I’m as gray as the clouds.

The truth never lies, you speak with your eyes.

Green is the color of love.

Time to depart.

To pack up my heart. I’ll move closer to you in the dark.

With tears to be shed for the losses I dread.

Quitting is not in my head.

Life belongs to me, I remember the sea.

The streets we pushed up and down.

The hills that we climbed, the nights drinking wine and

the days just fooling around.

With hardly no money, now it seems funny

we spent whatever we had.

On weekends we rested and sometimes we slept in.

On weekends we visited dad.

The music is playing reckless its leading.

Our souls spinning out of control.

We have a new member a new family member everyone calls him Bo.

Its a new life beginning, nothing like wining.

Looking to heaven above.

Angles are flying, kneeling and praying.

Signing to Him with our Love.

Corky Riley